Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize