Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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