instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
