I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
