worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
