k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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