I forgot how hot balto sounded
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
