My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
