Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
She needs sedatives and a leash
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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