The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
