she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
