it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
