her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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