If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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