just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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