Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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