Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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