Your tits are I can't wait for
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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