Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
