Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You ate ashes out of my bong
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
