Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It's blow job season.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize