he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
