you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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