what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
