The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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