They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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