In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
