NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
