She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize