Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize