is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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