I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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