It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
