erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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