I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
