So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
