I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize