Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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