I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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