I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize