So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize