UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
