Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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