I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
