you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
