I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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