ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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