Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize