Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I am mentally ready for anal.
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