You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
