dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
