he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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