like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
