Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
