Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
