the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
