onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize