went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Randomize
