I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
